10 things you need to know about recovering from a Traumatic Gynaecology experience.
Recovering from a traumatic gynaecological experience can be a challenging and deeply personal journey that can leave us feeling incredibly isolated and broken. But there are some important things you need to remember as you begin your journey to recovery.
It was not your fault. Many people blame themselves after experiences where they have felt powerless and feel as though they should have stood up for themselves, been stronger or louder. But it is not on you, it is the medical professionals job to protect you, to listen to you, to keep you safe and comfortable and to inform you of all the risks and potential complications (including extreme pain) before hand.
You have every right to feel angry, betrayed, violated, hurt and distrustful. Having a traumatic medical experience can often leave people feeling distrustful of doctors and medical procedures. This is totally valid after what you have experienced and is something that will take time to recover from.
Your pain is valid. You are not crazy, you are not weak. You were placed in an uncomfortable and vulnerable position and were not cared for adequately.
You are not alone. This is a (far too) common experience and many people are deeply affected by it. Many people report severe pain during a gynaecology procedure. It’s why we are trying to change the way things are done in Aotearoa NZ.
Many people have painless and easy procedures, this doesn’t mean you’re fragile or have a low pain tolerance. Everyone has different bodies and their gynaecology experience can vary depending on lots of things like whether or not they have had a vaginal birth, the size and shape of their cervix, previous trauma, endometriosis and PCOS issues, muscle tightness, the experience of the person performing the procedure etc. Do not let someone else’s story invalidate your experience.
Some people may not ever get what you went through and that’s okay. Make some connections to people who have had similar experiences. Consider joining a Facebook group or get involved in a meet up with others who have been through what you have.
If you can and feel up to it, make a formal complaint to the healthcare provider. This can help bring about change to the way procedures are done and help healthcare providers realize they are causing harm.
If you feel you need it, seek counseling/ therapy as soon as you can. It’s important that you have someone you trust that can help you recover from your experience. Visit our Where to Find Help tab if you are in Aotearoa New Zealand.
It will take time for you to feel like yourself again. It can take months or years to recover from a traumatic experience and many people will need help from family, friends or professionals to recover. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, don’t rush it, and remember that healing is not linear.
You will be okay. You will feel like yourself again. You will feel comfortable in your body again. x
It can sometimes be a really long and difficult journey to recover from an experience like this, but you are already on the right track to healing. You’ve got this.
And just remember…
You Deserve Better. X